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I well remember our next door neighbours in Naval married quarters in Portsmouth conveying their relief and delight when they found the right prep school for their children, something that had been playing on their minds and creating considerable anxiety, given that the children’s father was a Royal Navy seaman officer who would spend long periods of time away from home during the years ahead. They knew, quite rightly, that the right schools for their children would offer a first-rate education, would embrace a boarding community when the time came and would also, most importantly, understand the particular requirements of families where one or more parent is a serving member of the Armed Forces. As a former Royal Navy Officer, I think I understand something of the flexibility needed to respond to the needs of such families, particularly when their domestic plans change at short notice or when they are called to active service. Putting the children’s needs ahead of rigid school routine and convenience, is all important.

A good boarding school will always offer high standards of pastoral care but I wonder how many readily offer the flexibility that life in the Armed Forces can often demand? The partnership will work best when the bond between parents and houseparents is strong enough to cope seamlessly with the constraints imposed by a way of life that often carries a much greater degree of uncertainty than most civilian occupations. The school will need to have an additional degree of flexibility and to be able to offer 360º, wraparound care when life becomes complicated. Occasions, for example, when houseparents represent parents at meetings with teachers, which service parents cannot attend, perhaps swiftly emailing a summary to wherever parents find themselves. Or it might be going that extra mile, literally and figuratively, to make sure that boarders catch the right flight at leave-out weekends or the end of term, sorting out luggage and smoothing domestic routine, to allay the fears that parents will undoubtedly have. It has much to with mutual trust and good communication but can make life so much more straightforward when parents do not live near to the school.

At Bilton Grange, a flourishing full and weekly boarding community co-exists happily alongside day children who commute to school daily. I am aware that many members of the Armed Forces can expect to see active service more frequently in 2008 than when I was a member of the Royal Navy, some 25 years ago. However, having served during the Falklands campaign, I well remember the anxiety of families whose loved ones were at the centre of operations. A great deal of support can be required and that is something that Service communities are very adept at. I would like to think that schools like Bilton Grange can respond in a similar fashion by supporting children in every possible way. Sometimes one has to be sensitive about newspaper headlines that children of prep school age might see in the morning, when a balanced explanation to children by supportive and caring boarding staff will offer reassurance and greater understanding. It goes without saying that there must be at least one adult to whom every child can turn when in need of comfort and advice and, again, there must not be any time of the week when this will be inconvenient to school staff.

Nor is it always the father who is involved in such operations. We have a girl boarder at Bilton Grange whose mother was posted to Afghanistan on active service some months ago, and whose father lives and works in Luxembourg. There has to be a special and discrete plan to deal with all issues when life is less than straightforward. However, this way of life leads to a great deal of mutual trust and respect, and it is no wonder that so many former pupils stay in touch with us and regularly return to see their former teachers and housestaff.

All this, of course, is in addition to the academic and many other benefits offered by a good boarding school, many of which I suspect those of us who live and work in such an environment take for granted. I remember receiving wise counsel as a parent some years ago when being urged by a family friend not to change our own children’s schools too often, as we maintained a mobile lifestyle as part of natural career development.

Continuity in education becomes ever more important as children leave the early learning years behind, and five years in a good prep school, followed by a similar period in senior school, is a well-tried and tested formula. And if you are wondering which are the best boarding schools in the UK, you ought to read the reports of the Independent Schools’ Inspectorate (ISI), which can be found at www.isi.net. Further to that, visit the school, talk to the people who devote their lives to the children in their care, and intuition will tell you all you need to know.